As human beings, we all have a desire to be loved; and weddings are one of the ways in which we celebrate the fulfillment of that desire. When asked how you know when it is time to get married, Kenny age 7 responded, “It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble.” Roger, age 9, said that falling in love is “like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” There is probably some wisdom in those words!
Well, in Genesis chapter 1, we have the creation story in which we read these words about the beginnings of human beings. Genesis 1:26-27. “Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
The desire to be known and to be loved is part of what it means to be human – to be created in the image or likeness of God. The Scriptures reveal God as being relational at his very core ~ a perfect life of love, joy and peace as Father, Son and Spirit. And as we live in relationship – loving and being loved – we reflect the life of God! This is why the Scriptures express that humanity was created as male and female; it’s together in relationship that we reflect the love of God as Father, Son & Spirit.
But because our desire to experience love is so strong, in our brokenness we are prone to focus our efforts on getting others to love us. And in doing so, we end up using other people as our suppliers of love; and if need be, we will even manipulate them to fulfill our need to be loved.
This kind of pursuit of acquiring love for myself leads to all kinds of unhealthy and unholy ways of relating to other people. Instead of looking out for their needs, we attach ourselves to people who we think can do something for us. We offer love with conditions. “If you do this for me, then I will love you.”
At times our desire to be loved can be so strong that we will ignore hurtful behavior because we want that person to still love us. And we’re afraid that if we said something to them about the way they have been acting towards us, then they will stop loving us. Unfortunately, we end up perpetuating broken relationships that are not based on love but upon power and control – using others to meet my needs, and being used by others for their self-center desires.
The Scriptures, however, paint a different picture of what love looks like. The nature of love is to look away from self and seek the good of the other. Earlier we heard Mary read from 1 Corinthians 13 where the Apostle Paul describes the way of love as “…the most excellent way.” The best way to live life! And this way is focused on working for the good of the other by not being self-seeking. The description of what love looks like in this passage, and the numerous others in Scripture, is a life that is focused on the other, not on self. Love truly is for the other.
In 1 Peter 1:22, we are given these instructions for our relationships (marriages, friendships, families) “Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart.” And when we live in love with one another in this way, focused on the other, amazingly we find that our own God designed desire to be loved will be fulfilled! “…love one another deeply, from the heart.”
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